I am finding it difficult to keep up with this blog, I haven't documented details of my life, thoughts and feelings since I found out my Mum had been reading my diary when I was a teenager :( I keep asking myself is it worth it? Does anyone really want to read about my life? All I seem to be doing at the moment is criticising all that I have written, especially when I have written things and then learn new things, which makes me realise how naive I really am! Maybe in years to come it will be a way of looking back at how far I have travelled down my path, who knows.
I have met some wonderful people within a few weeks, some I would like to say feel as though they are going to be 'forever' friends. I am not the type of person to hide behind a persona (maybe I am too honest and open) and I only hope I do not offend too many people along the way.
I seem to be struggling emotionally with my feelings at the moment due to upset within my 'so called' family. My husband and children are my rocks but other members of my family seem to control and destroy my individuality. A very close member of my family has given me an ultimatum...believe everything in the Christian Bible, believe in God and Jesus OR you will be cut out of the will. Well at 33 years of age I have finally decided that I shall NOT be controlled by them any longer! I am a person in my own right and have a mind of my own. That's worth more to me than any amount of money!
I am still unsure of where to actually begin with my learning but think I am picking things up slowly by listening and reading. I haven't really had much chance to meditate but will persevere. I have many Pagan 'activities' lined up in the near future and I look forward to them all :)
So maybe I will 'keep it up!'
Sunday, 7 August 2011
Monday, 18 July 2011
First Full Moon Celebration
Last night my husband and I experienced our first Full Moon Celebration. The lady who ran the celebration is a Shaman and too be honest I don't know much about Shamanism. We were warmly welcomed and shown around the garden while we waited for others to arrive. When all guests were present, we all sat in a circle drinking tea/coffee and sharing cake and biscuits.
A candle was lit and the celebration began. Three people were drumming and there was some singing and chanting which was so beautiful. At first I felt VERY emotional and thought I was going to cry, I could feel a lump form in my throat and my eyes began to fill. I am an emotional person and will normally cry if I hear children singing but I didn't expect to get all emotional at the celebration! I think that I have built barriers up over the years and found that the drumming and singing got through my barriers and touched me within.
When connected with the Earth and putting down my roots, I felt that I left my physical body. I don't see images during any meditation, I sort of get a feeling/knowing of what is happening. When I left my physical body it was a really strange feeling and I kept bringing myself back to check that I was OK. The drumming during this meditation reminded me of North American Indian music.
One of the group requested healing for a family member and as a group we combined our energies to send healing. For me this felt wonderful, I could really feel a rush of energy go all the way up my back and go out from the top of my head. I had tingling all over the top of my head and it felt very warm.
I really enjoyed the celebration and I am looking forward to attending many more :)
A candle was lit and the celebration began. Three people were drumming and there was some singing and chanting which was so beautiful. At first I felt VERY emotional and thought I was going to cry, I could feel a lump form in my throat and my eyes began to fill. I am an emotional person and will normally cry if I hear children singing but I didn't expect to get all emotional at the celebration! I think that I have built barriers up over the years and found that the drumming and singing got through my barriers and touched me within.
When connected with the Earth and putting down my roots, I felt that I left my physical body. I don't see images during any meditation, I sort of get a feeling/knowing of what is happening. When I left my physical body it was a really strange feeling and I kept bringing myself back to check that I was OK. The drumming during this meditation reminded me of North American Indian music.
One of the group requested healing for a family member and as a group we combined our energies to send healing. For me this felt wonderful, I could really feel a rush of energy go all the way up my back and go out from the top of my head. I had tingling all over the top of my head and it felt very warm.
I really enjoyed the celebration and I am looking forward to attending many more :)
Books, meets and meditation
Lot's of things have been going on in the last couple of weeks, I have read some good books on Meduimship, Wicca, and Witches. I have found a lot of useful information online and the information given by friends has been wonderful. I have met many new people who I now class as friends :)
The children have been asking to meditate more and I have mainly been teaching them grounding and protecting but I have started to introduce them to crystals and their energies. The children chose their own Rose Quarts the other day and we sat and meditated with them. They really enjoyed the meditation and are looking forward to doing it again.
Last night I lay down and listened to a mediumship meditation. I managed to clear my mind and was just hoping to enjoy being able to do this but for some reason two names kept coming into my mind. Doreen Vickers and Mike Rogers. Now I haven't a clue who these names belong to, I don't know anyone by these names???? Maybe one day I may find out but for now I am baffled!
I am off to my first Full Moon celebration tonight, I am a little nervous because I have been told there will be drumming and dancing. I have never been one to dance around or make much noise and have a habit of laughing with nerves, so I hope I don't cause any offence to the others. I want to go and experience the celebration because unless I do, I will never know if it is something I like or not!
Tuesday, 12 July 2011
What to tell the children
Being a mum of three and just starting to discover Paganism, the children over hear the conversations being discussed between my husband and myself. They have picked up our excitement and have been questioning us. We have been recommended a few books (by a lovely lady, who we now class as a friend) that we can read and discuss with the children. My youngest two (10yrs and 7yrs old) have expressed wishes to learn how to meditate. Last night I decided to show them how to ground and protect themselves. The two of them and myself sat in a circle, cross legged on the floor with our knees touching. We held each others hands and I asked them to close their eyes. I told them that I would keep my eyes open to make sure they were OK. They both kept their eyes closed throughout which was a good start. I asked them to imagine they had roots (like tree roots) coming out of their feet and going down into Mother Earth, all the way into the centre of Mother Earth, I asked them to imagine a warm orange/golden glow of loving energy (I had explained what energy was to them a few days ago, that was a task unto itself!) I asked them to imagine great love and warm happy and positive feelings coming back up their roots and filling their body, then to thank Mother Earth for her love and send their love back down through their roots to her.
I went on to say about a beautiful big moon or bright star above their heads, with a loving white light that they can pull down through the top of their heads all the way down to their feet. I got them to imagine this beautiful white light filling their body and expanding out to create a safe bubble around them. I asked them to imagine themselves being stood in this bubble, feeling safe and protected, only feeling happy and loving feelings and only allowing good, loving feelings to enter their bubble. I told them that nothing negative/bad could get into their bubble of light and love.
After about 8mins I could see my son (7yrs old) starting to get restless so decided enough was enough. I told them to open their eyes feeling all good and happy. I asked them their thoughts and feelings about the meditation. My son said his feet felt very warm, also he said he started to think...when is she going to finish lol He is not the most patient of little boys (just like his dad) but I was very pleased that he had sat for so long, quietly and kept his eyes closed, WELL DONE my boy :) My daughter said that she felt lovely and warm and very happy, she really enjoyed the experience. She wanted to know when we could do it again :)
My son asked about my crystals and if he could have some. We discussed the energies of crystals and how we could meditate with them. they now what to collect crystals and use them!
As I learn I shall teach them but will always consider their free will, I will never force or expect them to take part in any of my beliefs. They have their own free spirits that will find their own paths in life!
I went on to say about a beautiful big moon or bright star above their heads, with a loving white light that they can pull down through the top of their heads all the way down to their feet. I got them to imagine this beautiful white light filling their body and expanding out to create a safe bubble around them. I asked them to imagine themselves being stood in this bubble, feeling safe and protected, only feeling happy and loving feelings and only allowing good, loving feelings to enter their bubble. I told them that nothing negative/bad could get into their bubble of light and love.
After about 8mins I could see my son (7yrs old) starting to get restless so decided enough was enough. I told them to open their eyes feeling all good and happy. I asked them their thoughts and feelings about the meditation. My son said his feet felt very warm, also he said he started to think...when is she going to finish lol He is not the most patient of little boys (just like his dad) but I was very pleased that he had sat for so long, quietly and kept his eyes closed, WELL DONE my boy :) My daughter said that she felt lovely and warm and very happy, she really enjoyed the experience. She wanted to know when we could do it again :)
My son asked about my crystals and if he could have some. We discussed the energies of crystals and how we could meditate with them. they now what to collect crystals and use them!
As I learn I shall teach them but will always consider their free will, I will never force or expect them to take part in any of my beliefs. They have their own free spirits that will find their own paths in life!
Monday, 11 July 2011
Foundations are laid
These past couple of weeks I believe I have learnt more about my beliefs and spiritual self than I have done in thirty three years!
I have been meditating most days and have been receiving more messages from Spirit. I have attended a Mind, Body and Spirit day and received a reading from a Numerologist, which I felt reflected my personality, emotions and situation that is currently being experienced.
I had a sitting with a Medium, which confirmed in my mind that the Spirit World can communicate with us. My Grandmother passed over in January 2011, on the way to the sitting whilst driving in my car I spoke to her. I asked her if she chose to come through and speak with me to mention two things. I asked her to let me know that the baby I had lost due to a miscarriage was with her, also to mention the ring she had promised me that I do not have in my possession at the moment. The Medium conveyed her mannerisms to a T. He said that she kept showing him a baby in her arms, that did not connect to a pregnancy on the Earth Plane. He also kept touching his finger and spoke of a ring that had been promised to me, that I did not have due to someone being stubborn on the Earth Plane. I was completely wowed and accepted the information being given, along with many other things my Grandmother wished to tell me. From that sitting my scepticism vanished and I felt contented.
My husband and I have began searching the internet and the local area for like minded people and visited a shop in the City, that also has a tea room. The shop sells many items connected with Paganism (other religious and spiritual items are sold too) and is a very spiritual place. The food and coffee in the tea room are delicious! After speaking with the friendly people who run the place, we were invited to the monthly moot. How EXCITING!!!!
Everything seemed to be fitting together, a wonderful flow of events was starting to take place. A few evenings before the moot, during one meditation I felt the need to assist my husband in learning to meditate, ground and protect himself. I approached him about this and he was enthusiastic about it. After a couple of guided meditations he had an understanding of what to do. He practised a few times and enjoyed it.
The evening of the moot arrived. My husband and I drove into the City, chatting about our thoughts and feelings of what to expect. We were warmly welcomed and felt at ease. Introductions were given and the evenings events were discussed. A lovely Gentleman was giving an introduction to Crystal Healing and Working with Crystals. Instead of just standing up and talking about Crystals, the group was asked to meditate with guided grounding and protection (Thank you Spirit for your message to introduce my husband to meditation beforehand). The group was taken on guided meditations to connect and work with the energies of the crystals chosen for that evening (Rose quarts, Amethyst and Moonstone). Everyone shared their experiences after each Crystal which was very insightful. I felt I connected with the Amethyst more that evening. It was a very interesting, informative and enjoyable evening. Really looking forward to the next months moot!
I believe the foundations are laid and I am starting to find the stones to build my own personal path. I may come across stones that do not fit but I know I will find many that will!
I have been meditating most days and have been receiving more messages from Spirit. I have attended a Mind, Body and Spirit day and received a reading from a Numerologist, which I felt reflected my personality, emotions and situation that is currently being experienced.
I had a sitting with a Medium, which confirmed in my mind that the Spirit World can communicate with us. My Grandmother passed over in January 2011, on the way to the sitting whilst driving in my car I spoke to her. I asked her if she chose to come through and speak with me to mention two things. I asked her to let me know that the baby I had lost due to a miscarriage was with her, also to mention the ring she had promised me that I do not have in my possession at the moment. The Medium conveyed her mannerisms to a T. He said that she kept showing him a baby in her arms, that did not connect to a pregnancy on the Earth Plane. He also kept touching his finger and spoke of a ring that had been promised to me, that I did not have due to someone being stubborn on the Earth Plane. I was completely wowed and accepted the information being given, along with many other things my Grandmother wished to tell me. From that sitting my scepticism vanished and I felt contented.
My husband and I have began searching the internet and the local area for like minded people and visited a shop in the City, that also has a tea room. The shop sells many items connected with Paganism (other religious and spiritual items are sold too) and is a very spiritual place. The food and coffee in the tea room are delicious! After speaking with the friendly people who run the place, we were invited to the monthly moot. How EXCITING!!!!
Everything seemed to be fitting together, a wonderful flow of events was starting to take place. A few evenings before the moot, during one meditation I felt the need to assist my husband in learning to meditate, ground and protect himself. I approached him about this and he was enthusiastic about it. After a couple of guided meditations he had an understanding of what to do. He practised a few times and enjoyed it.
The evening of the moot arrived. My husband and I drove into the City, chatting about our thoughts and feelings of what to expect. We were warmly welcomed and felt at ease. Introductions were given and the evenings events were discussed. A lovely Gentleman was giving an introduction to Crystal Healing and Working with Crystals. Instead of just standing up and talking about Crystals, the group was asked to meditate with guided grounding and protection (Thank you Spirit for your message to introduce my husband to meditation beforehand). The group was taken on guided meditations to connect and work with the energies of the crystals chosen for that evening (Rose quarts, Amethyst and Moonstone). Everyone shared their experiences after each Crystal which was very insightful. I felt I connected with the Amethyst more that evening. It was a very interesting, informative and enjoyable evening. Really looking forward to the next months moot!
I believe the foundations are laid and I am starting to find the stones to build my own personal path. I may come across stones that do not fit but I know I will find many that will!
Tuesday, 28 June 2011
Gifts given by spirit
After feeling the 'pull' of my spiritual side within the last couple of days, I decided to start meditating and listening to guided meditations. On these guided meditation journeys I have been given a few gifts from spirit. The first gift was a symbol of the Pentagram, the second was a Red Crystal and the last was a Black Panther.
The panther animal totem is a very powerful and protective presence. If you have this creature as your totem, you are blessed to have such a fierce and aggressive guardian with you.
The panther is a symbol of courage, valor and power. The panther has also sometimes associated with the sun, andsolar vibrancy in some cultures (South American, & Central American).
Individuals with panther totem s are usually people who come into this world with a spiritual knowing - a deeper understanding of spiritual things. These people often are very intuitive, psychic, and many are artistically inclined.
Of all the panthers, the black panther has the greatest mysticism associated with it. It is a symbol of the mother, the dark moon and the power of the night. The black panther encourages us to understand the shadow powers available to us all, to acknowledge these powers and to eliminate our fears of the darkness.
Another piece I found about the Black Panther was also very interesting
http://theblackpaper.com/blog/meaning-behind-the-black-panther/
Being new to meditation and only just starting out on a my journey with spirit, I have began to look into the meaning of these gifts and what they mean to me personally (or my personal interpretation of what I feel they mean to me).
The Pentagram
I had heard of Paganism but was not aware of what it really was. After I was given this gift by spirit I researched what the symbol represented. I was very excited to say the least, I had found what I had always been looking for. A 'name' and group that contained my beliefs! I was brought up in a Christian household (although not strict on religion) but I felt I didn't believe the stories in the Bible. I looked into joining a Spiritualist Church as I got older, I loved Mediumship and believed in the Spirit World. Again I did not quite feel this was the place for me, it still had a lot of things that just didn't sit well with me.
This gift, the symbol of the Pentagram has lead me to discover Paganism and I am enjoying the beginners steps to finding my 'path'.
The Red Crystal
Red Jasper Crystal Meaning
The energy of this stone is akin to taking a slow deep breath, on a bright sunny warm morning, filling the user with a positive outlook, oxygenating the blood, and energising body. It's the most assigned stone to the root chakra and for good reason; red Jasper is all about vitality, exuberance & physical well being. This stone vitalises the body, the blood and expands the energy system with creative energy inspiring new beginnings, stimulating the intellect with positive entrepreneurial ideas. The stone is assigned to Aries in most reference charts, and to the Emperor in tarot charts, both linked to the use of benevolent power, new beginnings, creative flair, and the active use of artistic abilities.
Magical use: Initiation, Physical vitality, Physical Protection. Courage, Will power.
Healing uses: Blood, Nervous system, ears, neck
Magical use: Initiation, Physical vitality, Physical Protection. Courage, Will power.
Healing uses: Blood, Nervous system, ears, neck
After seeing the meaning of the Red Crystal I believe it fits in well with my 'new beginnings'. My Birth sign is Aries. When I looked into the Red Crystal for healing purposes on other websites, it seemed to highlight areas where I feel I need healing.
The Black Panther
http://www.whats-your-sign.com/panther-animal-totem.htmlThe panther animal totem is a very powerful and protective presence. If you have this creature as your totem, you are blessed to have such a fierce and aggressive guardian with you.
The panther is a symbol of courage, valor and power. The panther has also sometimes associated with the sun, andsolar vibrancy in some cultures (South American, & Central American).
Individuals with panther totem s are usually people who come into this world with a spiritual knowing - a deeper understanding of spiritual things. These people often are very intuitive, psychic, and many are artistically inclined.
Of all the panthers, the black panther has the greatest mysticism associated with it. It is a symbol of the mother, the dark moon and the power of the night. The black panther encourages us to understand the shadow powers available to us all, to acknowledge these powers and to eliminate our fears of the darkness.
Another piece I found about the Black Panther was also very interesting
http://theblackpaper.com/blog/meaning-behind-the-black-panther/
I feel this also fits me well and I am very grateful for this.
I would like to thank Spirit for my wonderful gifts I have been given. I feel I am on the right path and I am looking forward to my future.
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